The Lord creates Right Man and Right Woman for love and marriage today just as He did in the Garden of Eden. The Right Man and Right Woman are designed to be the closest human relationship and the most basic building block of a culture. Almost everyone believes in such a relationship, but almost no one ever finds it. Since it was designed for perfect people in a perfect world, sin wreaks havoc on it and those who do discover this best kept secret are sure to face the challenge of a lifetime. Discovering Right Man or Right Woman is a prescription for rigorous testing that may or may not lead to a happy marriage at the end of the rainbow.Almost everyone claims to believe in Right Man - Right Woman. They are looking for a soul-mate, prince charming, or cinderella. Fed by the fantasies of movies, romance novels, and dreams of love and happiness, most people hope to meet the perfect one, get married, and live happily ever after. Christians are no different. They think the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden is their destiny too. Well, that's not the case. Even Adam and Eve had their bubble burst when they sinned. They were two perfect people in perfect environment. That all ended with the Fall.
The doctrine of Right Man - Right Woman is clearly taught in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. However, it is not a prescription for compatibility in love and romance; nor does it always lead to a happy marriage. The illusions that most young people have about the Right Man - Right Woman relationship are not accurate, according to the Bible. The first shocker is that the Right Man - Right Woman relationship is for adults, not romantic teens. Secondly, it is a spiritual relationship that requires spiritual execution. The spiritual life of the average Christian is totally inadequate to sustain a Right Man - Right Woman relationship, especially in the Church Age during national apostasy. Spiritual Maturity is needed to sustain the relationship, and that is rare in today's world.
On the other hand, Right Man - Right Woman is not a human choice. It is a Sovereign decision of God. Therefore, when it happens, the believer is stuck with it for life. It is the closest human relationship and the source of most problems.
Therefore, it is not a doctrine to be taken lightly. It needs to be understood. Unfortunately, the worldly believer will botch the whole thing and fall flat on his face. The doctrine is definitely not for beginners. It is for believers in the adult Spiritual life. The only hope of success is by executing the unique Spiritual life of the Church Age. "All things are possible to him who believes" (Mark 9:23).
Divine Order of Precedent
Purpose of Right Man - Right Woman Relationship
Phases of Right Man - Right Woman Relationship
Function of Right Man - Right Woman Relationship
Isaac and Rebekah
Glory of the Right Man
Woman Glory of Right Man
National Blessing and Cursing
Right Man - Right Woman in Prophecy
Abiding in Love
Divine Order of Precedent
Then the LORD God decreed, "It is not good that Adam should be alone. I will make him a helper corresponding to him." (Genesis 2:18)The Right Man - Right Woman relationship, thus, became a Divine Decree and a Divine Institution. The Lord put Adam to sleep and removed one of his ribs. From Adam's rib, the Lord built the Right Woman to be Adam's perfect mate. The Lord brought the woman to Adam, who named her 'Ishah because she was taken out from 'Ish. Thus, the names 'Ish and 'Ishah correspond to Right Man and Right Woman.
After Adam recognized his Right Woman, the Lord gave her to him in marriage. Marriage technically followed the identification of Right Man - Right Woman. In a perfect world with two perfect people, who were the only man and woman in the world, this could happen. After the Fall when people were no longer perfect, things didn't happen this quickly. It is usually not love at first sight, and the decision to marry takes even longer.
From the precedent in the Garden, the Divine Institution of Right Man - Right Woman was established. God creates two people for each other just as He did in the Garden (Gen 1:27; 5:2). He creates them male and female - never male for male or female for female. The purpose of Right Man - Right Woman is to lead to marriage, but Marriage is a separate Divine Institution. Right Man - Right Woman is not a requirement for Marriage. Marriage is for the entire human race, believer and unbeliever, and unbelievers cannot be required to follow the Bible. Right Man - Right Woman is also for the entire human race as can be deduced from Ecclesiastes 9:9. It isn't God's will for man to be alone. Although He creates a Right Woman for the male unbeliever, He doesn't force the unbeliever Right Man and Right Woman to accept each other.
The Bible is full of examples and teaching about Right Man - Right Woman. Abraham and Sarah, who began the Jewish race, were Right Man - Right Woman, as were Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Ruth and Boaz, and Joseph and Mary. Right Man - Right Woman is God's gift to the human race. The Right Man fulfills the Right Woman, and the Right Woman completes the Right Man. Right Man - Right Woman is a foundation stone of the nation. Success in the relationship leads to blessing (Gen 12:2; Rom 9:7-8; Gal 4:22-31). And failure of the relationship leads to intense cursing of the believer priest, society, and the nation (Gen 16:11-12; 2 Sa 11:3-4; 12:7-14; Hos 1:3-2:13; 3:1-5;1 Pet 3:7). Sin destroyed the original RM-RW relationship in the Garden (Gen. 3:12-13), and sin is still the enemy of the relationship.
Not Good for Adam to Be Alone
Creation of Right Woman
The Lord Brings the Woman to the Man
Then the LORD God decreed, "It is not good that Adam should be alone. I will make him a helper corresponding to him." (Genesis 2:18)The Lord recognized Adam's plight and promised to build his Right Woman. All the animals were in pairs, but Adam did not have a counterpart. Adam wasn't ready for Right Woman immediately. He had to work first, and get prepared for her. He had to recognize his need. He had to wait and trust God. It was "not good that Adam should be alone." "Not good" means it was not Divine Good production. Everything else that God made was good, but for Adam something was missing. God's divine design, which specified male and female, was incomplete.
And the Lord God built the rib which He had taken out from Adam into the Right Woman ('Ishah), and He brought her to Adam. (Genesis 2:22)"Built" is the Hebrew banah, meaning to build, as building a house. The word used for the creation of Adam was the Hebrew yatsar, meaning to sculpt, or fashion. "The Lord God sculpted man of dust from the ground" (Genesis 2:7). The Lord took the rib of Adam, which provided a perfect DNA match, and built from it the woman. The woman was built to precise specifications to match Adam in body, soul, and spirit. The rib was from the side, and the Right Woman would stand beside the man to be his helper-counterpart. They became a couple, a pair - the Right Man - Right Woman system.
Adam said,Adam recognized the Right Woman by her bone structure, "bone out of my bones." The bone structure usually includes facial similarities. He also recognized her flesh as being like his. This means she was a human like him.
"This one now bone out of my bones,
And flesh out of my flesh;
She shall be named Right Woman,
Because she was taken out from Right Man." (Genesis 2:23)
Adam named her 'Ishah because she was taken out of Right Man. The verb, laqach, means to seize; take by force, or violently. This is like pulling a tooth. The Lord yanked Adam's rib violently. This is suffering on the part of Right Man while Right Woman is being constructed to fit the man.
1. Right Man ('ish ) and Right Woman ('ishah) appear for the first time. RM-RW become a category, a system, a pair, or couple.
2. The man (the one with doctrine) recognized his Right Woman.
3. Adam had to have a new name when he received his Right Woman because he had been promoted.
4. The man suffered while the woman was being built: Adam still felt his missing rib.
5. Adam was very happy with his Right Woman: The gift of Right Woman from the Lord is designed for happiness.
6. Adam recognized 'Ishah by:
a. Her bone structure.
b. Flesh - meaning she was the same species, homo sapiens.
7. This was physical identification of the body - i.e. the Attraction Phase.
Therefore, the Right Man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be intimately united to his wife; and they shall become together one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)The word dabaq means to be intimately united; to be joined to; and refers to conjugal love. This is translated into the Greek of Ephesians 5:31 by the Greek proskollavw (proskollao), from pros (face-to-face) + kollao (to unite with, attach one's self to) = to have face-to-face sex with. The word, kollao, occurs in 1 Corinthians 6:16, where it means to unite intimately.
If it could be called a wedding ceremony, it consisted of the Lord bringing the Right Woman to the Right Man and the Right Man accepting her. There were no vows and promises. The marriage was then consummated with sex.
The couple were naked, Adam and his wife and they were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:25)Before they sinned, Adam and his wife were not ashamed of being naked. However, after they sinned, the guilt and shame were associated with their most intimate parts, their genitals, and they were ashamed to be seen naked in public.
Genesis 3:16 Judgment of the WomanAfter the first man and woman sinned, the Lord pronounced Judgment upon them in the Adamic Covenant. The woman was given the curse of child bearing. She would have a desire for her husband, who was also her Right Man. The word, "desire," is the Hebrew teshuqah, meaning desire or longing. This is not a sexual or sinful desire but the longing of Right Man and Right Woman for each other. In Song of Solomon it is used for the desire of the Right Man for his Right Woman (SOS 7:10). Right Man and Right Woman are two halves of the same whole. They are incomplete without each other, and their desires are to unite. This desire is not present in Marriage of wrong man and wrong woman.
To the woman He said,
"I will greatly multiply your pain and your conception.
In pain you shall bring forth children.
Yet, for your husband (Right Man), your desire; but he shall rule over you."
Witnesses for Satan's Appeal Trial
Love Relationship for Man
Stability for Human Race
Election for Marriage
Symbol of Christ and the Church
Demonstration of Divine Election
Ends at Death
Genesis 24:2-4To marry a Canaanite would violate the promise of God to Abraham - i.e. "to your descendants I will give this land" (Gen 24:7).
2 And Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he owned, "Please place your hand under my loin, 3 and I will make you swear by the Lord, the God of Heaven and the God of Earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, 4 but you shall go to my country and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac."
The purpose of Right Man - Right Woman is also to sanctify the human race (Deut 7:3; Ex 20:14; 2 Cor 6:1417; Heb 13:4). The Lord continues to provide Right Man and Right Woman to preserve the human race. Thus, Right Man - Right Woman becomes the foundation of society. It is God's Grace provision for mankind.
Right Man - Right Woman demonstrates God's Gracious Love (Gen 24:12, 14, 27). When Abraham's servant went to find Isaac's Right Woman, he prayed:
And he prayed, "O Lord, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today, and show Gracious Love to my master Abraham. (Genesis 24:12)The Hebrew chesed, means Gracious Love or unfailing Love. Here it refers to God's Gracious Love in providing the Right Woman for the Right Man. God gives good gifts, and Right Woman is one of the best gifts He ever provided.
Right Man and Right Woman are created to be witnesses in the Appeal Trial of Satan. The pairs in this life were created to have two sets of eyes to be witnesses (Deut 19:15). There will be no need for such witnesses in Heaven.
The Right Woman was created as a love relationship for man and to symbolize the love relationship with Christ (especially during His absence from the Earth). Christ is the Right Man of all believers as well as groups, such as the Church and Israel. In Heaven the Lord Jesus Christ will be the Right Man of all believers (2 Cor 11:2; Rev 19:7). There will be no need to have a Right Man who symbolizes Christ when the reality is there.
Soul Compatibility Phase
Harmonious Rapport Phase
The Phases of the Right Man - Right Woman relationship can be viewed in terms of three dimensions of love. The three love dimensions are:
X - Body love - Identification Phase - corresponds to the physical relationship, kissing, embracing, touching, and conjugal love in Marriage.Human and Divine Love
Y - Soul love - Compatibility Phase - corresponds to human soul love.
Z - Spiritual Love - Harmonious Rapport - corresponds to Spiritual Love, or Divine Love.
Human soul love is the love of one human being for another. It is the love in romance and the love for friends. The human soul is capable of expressing and responding to love. Believers and unbelievers have human soul love. However, the believer in the Filling of the Holy Spirit can have pure soul love that is not adulterated with sin and lust. This is still human soul love, which is different from Spiritual Love. Spiritual Love comes from the Holy Spirit, and the believer's human spirit is capable of responding to it. Spiritual Love is Divine Love.
And He went a little distance, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will. (Matthew 26:39)When Jesus prayed, "let this cup pass from Me," that was human love. Jesus wanted to remain pure and have nothing to do with sin. But when He prayed, "yet not as I will, but as You will," that was Divine Love.
We Love, because He first Loved us. (1 John 4:19)This is Divine Love, which we can express to God in Reciprocal Love.
Philippians 1:23-24Paul's desire to go to Heaven and be with Christ is Divine Love. However, his sense of responsibility to the Philippian congregation is human love.
23 But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; 24 yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake.
The contrast between human soul love and Divine Love also comes out in the story of Jesus raising Lazarus.
When Jesus saw her (Mary) weeping aloud and the Jews who had come with her weeping aloud, He was deeply moved in His spirit and disturbed. (John 11:33)When Jesus saw the human love and grief of Mary and the Jews over the death of Lazarus, "He was deeply moved in His spirit and disturbed." While the people were expressing their human love for the deceased, Jesus was thinking about it in His human spirit with Divine Love. Jesus recognized the human soul love of the people for Lazarus, but He also sensed the gravity of the situation Spiritually. Lazarus was in a place of Happiness in Abraham's bosom, the place of departed Old Testament saints. But the people were looking at Jesus with human viewpoint, as if He could have helped earlier, but now it was too late.
When they took Jesus to the tomb of Lazarus, "Jesus wept tears" (Jn 11:35), where "wept" is the Greek dakruo, for weeping tears, in contrast to the loud crying of the other people. The weeping of Jesus was an outpouring of human soul love and grief. He did not weep from His deity. Deity is always Happy and does not weep. The Jews pointed out how much Jesus loved Lazarus (Jn 11:36), where "loved" is the Greek phileo, meaning to love intimately, as with close friends (Jn 11:3). Jesus' love for Lazarus was personal human soul love.
Then the Jews theorized that Jesus could have kept Lazarus from dying if He had been there earlier (Jn 11:37). That was absurd because God is all-powerful and not limited. The Jews, who were unbelievers, had made an issue of Jesus' Divine Power. So, Jesus asked them to roll away the stone that sealed the tomb. Jesus prayed to the Father to thank Him for the miracle and called for Lazarus.
Having spoken these things, He (Jesus) cried out with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" (John 11:43)Lazarus immediately came walking out wrapped in grave cloths. Jesus performed the miracle, not because of His human love for Lazarus, but from His Divine Love to demonstrate Divine Power. Lazarus would have been better off where he was, but the miracle demonstrated the Resurrection of the dead, and consequently many of the Jews believed in Jesus and were saved.
Just as the Lord Jesus Christ had two natures, divine and human, in Hypostatic Union, the Christian also has two natures. He is human with a human body and soul. He is also indwelt by God and has a human spirit to communicate with God. Just as Jesus Christ in Hypostatic Union could love with human love and Divine Love, so can the Christian.
Three Types of Love
As the relationship grows, the Right Man and Right Woman must develop the capacity to handle the love relationship on each of the three levels. In the Identification Phase, the love relationship begins with physical identification of the Right Man and Right Woman. In the Compatibility Phase, the couple must learn to sustain a true human love relationship in the Filling of the Holy Spirit and within the bounds of the Integrity Envelope. In the Harmonious Rapport Phase, the love relationship is Spiritual and includes God. The Right Man and Right Woman love each other with Divine Love.
Now, comes the complication, which is necessary to really understand love. Love is not love when it is not true and just. So, love itself must be stabilized by an X-axis of truth and a Z-axis of justice. Love is the Y-axis. Thus, there are three dimensions within each of the three dimensions of love in the Right Man - Right Woman relationship.
Body LoveThis is more than an academic exercise. The Right Man - Right Woman relationship for Christians must be lived Spiritually. Soul love is not enough. The soul love must be within the bounds of the Spiritual life in the Filling of the Holy Spirit. However, human relationships, which may be compatible for a while with soul love, are not the same as Divine relationships. They are not based on Divine thinking, or the Spiritual life with God. Adding God's thinking to a relationship is a whole new dimension. For example, human love does not want a friend to die, but Spiritual Love recognizes the super-abundant Happiness of the friend in dying and appreciates the Righteousness of God's Sovereign decision to call the person home. Similarly, Spiritual Love in the Right Man - Right Woman relationship is totally different from the human love perspective. Spiritual Love includes fellowship with God and His blessing.
X-axis - Right Man or Right Woman
Y-axis - Body, physical, touching, conjugal love
Z-axis - Authority, justice
X-axis - Faith, doctrine
Y-axis - Human soul love
Z-axis - Hope, authority, justice, Filling of Holy Spirit, connected to Intimacy Room
X-axis - Divine Righteousness
Y-axis - Divine Love
Z-axis - Divine Justice
The maturity of the love relationship of Right Man and Right Woman depends on the maturity of their Spiritual life. There will not be soul compatibility until both parties have separated from the world, and Spiritual Maturity is required for a stable relationship. Human soul love is no stronger than the Spiritual maturity of the individual. It requires Spiritual strength to overcome the Old Sin Nature and the world. Carnal believers will make a mess of the Right Man - Right Woman relationship.
This phase requires Spiritual Rapport with God in the Spiritual life, which is extremely rare in Christianity. If one makes it to Spiritual Rapport and the other rejects the Spiritual life, the one who is negative will die the sin unto death, as Rachel did. Because it is identified with Spiritual Rapport, this phase has also been called the Spiritual Rapport Phase.
Divine Good Production
Recognizing Right Man - Right Woman
The Right Man - Right Woman relationship is not like a romance novel. It is a true Spiritual Love relationship based upon God's Sovereign Design and Grace provision. Those who are still carnal or worldly will foul it up completely. Immature Christians, like their worldly counterparts, are seeking fulfillment of their own self-esteem or ego. Love for them is rooted in self-fulfillment. Even when they are altruistic, there are hidden motives. They are users. Their amorous words or intentions are no more noble than an unregenerate human full of the Old Sin Nature.
The glory and beauty of the Right Man - Right Woman relationship arises from a total transformation into the New Spiritual life in Christ Jesus where Love is Divine and Happiness is pervasive. It is far removed from youthful lusts and sordid desires of the flesh. The glory of true Love is not possible in a house of sin. There must be sanctification from all impurity from within and without. Not only must the Old Sin Nature be neutralized, but the evil influence of the world and the Cosmic System must be blocked. To have true Love the individuals must have the power of God with the Filling of the Holy Spirit and divine protection. The purity required for true Love is possible only through God's Grace provision of the Spiritual life. The couple who is not right with God will not be right for each other.
The Right Man - Right Woman relationship is the union of Life (man) and Love (woman). Life and Love are the ultimate description of God. He is Life, and the source of all life; and He is Love. So, the only way for Right Man - Right Woman to succeed is to have the Life and Love of God. Sin brings death, which destroys life and love. The only hope of success in the Right Man - Right Woman relationship is to overcome the threat of sin. This is only possible through the work of Jesus Christ on the Cross. The finished work of Christ provides the opportunity to overcome the threat of sin and become a winner. Winner believers can succeed in the Right Man - Right Woman relationship. Losers cannot.
The Spiritual Life of the Right Man Right Woman relationship of Christians includes Divine Love, Light, Divine Good production, and a corporate witness. The relationship is a Spiritual calling. Right Man and Right Woman should love each other with Divine Love poured out in their hearts by the Holy Spirit. They should produce Divine Good and be the recipients of God's Grace provision. And they should be witnesses for God in Satan's Appeal Trial. They must fulfill the role of Christian believer-priests living in fellowship with God in the Holy Place. They should glorify God in all they do. Their relationship is a higher calling.
So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; (Ephesians 5:28)This verse is applicable to Right Man as well as to the husband in marriage. "Husbands" is the Greek aner, which can mean nobleman, Right Man, or husband. The Right Man is commanded to love His Right Woman as he loves himself. This is a command to have human soul love and body love, since the husband has authority over the wife's body (1 Cor 7:4).
"He who loves his own wife loves himself." Loving one's own body refers to self-esteem. Self-esteem is the most basic identity of self, or personality identification. It is self-love, which a person had as a baby in relation to his mother before he became aware of his own separate identity and others. It is symbolized by the little finger in contradistinction to the forefinger, which expresses the ego. Self-esteem corresponds to a person's most basic values and needs before they are analyzed by the mind and expressed through the ego.
However, this verse is not about human self-esteem. It is about Spiritual Self-Esteem.3 Human self-esteem in the verse is only a metaphor for Spiritual Self-Esteem, which is the confidence of the mature believer in living the Spiritual life. The love of Right Man for Right Woman must be an expression of Spiritual Self-Esteem. In order to understand this, the primary considerations of human self-esteem may be viewed as metaphors in the Spiritual life. For example, the value attached to food is a primary consideration in human self-esteem. In the Spiritual scale of values, food corresponds to Logistical Grace provision of daily bread and to metabolization of Bible Doctrine.
So, the husband (Right Man) demonstrates his love for his wife (Right Woman) from his Spiritual Self-Esteem, which includes the following metaphorical applications to the Spiritual life:
1. Food nourishment, nutrition Logistical Grace provision of daily bread and metabolization of Bible Doctrine (Jer 15:16; Job 23:12, Matt 6:25; 1 Cor 10:31) (X-axis)Just as the husband looks out for his own body from human self-esteem, he must care for his wife with Spiritual Self-Esteem.
Food is necessary for life. God knows that and provides our daily bread. The believer in SSE has learned to eat what God provides. He would also give this to his wife. The Exodus generation never learned this. They complained about the manna and died in the wilderness. Food also symbolizes Bible Doctrine, which must be metabolized daily. In SSE this corresponds to X-axis alignment of the Spiritual life.
2. Clothing Love, Integrity Envelope, ECS (Col 3:14) (Y-axis)
Clothing symbolizes the clothing of the soul. In SSE the soul must be clothed in Love, which requires the completed Integrity Envelope, or Edification Complex of the Soul. This corresponds to Y-axis alignment of the Spiritual life.
3. Shelter Protection; Good Shepherd. The husband protects the wife as Christ protects Church (Jn 10:11; Psa 91; Psa 121:8; Isa 52:12) (Z-axis)
Shelter provides protection from the elements. The husband is expected to provide that shelter. However, security is also needed from the enemies of the Spiritual life, including the world and the devil. Jesus Christ, as the Good Shepherd, was willing to lay down His life for the sheep. The husband must Love his wife enough to die for her. He must protect her from evil. He cannot do that unless he is in SSE. If he is in sin, he will be enslaved to the Cosmic System and will drag his wife down with him. Shelter corresponds to Z-axis alignment.
4. Sleep rest of Spiritual Maturity; peace (Heb 4:3; Gal 5:22, Psa 4:8; Prov 3:24; 19:23; 20:13) (Time-axis)
The value attached to sleep in a person's life is an indicator of human self-esteem. Sleep symbolizes the rest of Spiritual Maturity and peace in the Spiritual life.4 If the husband has not rested from his own works to receive the works of Grace, he will be frustrated, and his wife will have no peace in the Spiritual life. Sleep corresponds to Time-axis alignment.
5. Exercise work, sweat of the brow (Gen 3:17-19), physical exercise necessary for health and strength (Eccl 5:12; 1 Tim 4:8); the man works for his wife as Christ works for the Church.
Physical exercise is work done by the human body for such purposes as strengthening, health, or sport.5 Exercise includes work, which man was required to do in the Adamic Covenant. The husband works to support his wife and must do his job as unto the Lord (1 Cor 10:31).
6. Entertainment music and singing is a function of the priesthood for praise (Psa 33:1-3; 100; Eph 5:19); music and other forms of entertainment can be therapeutic (1 Sam 16:23).6
7. Celebration dancing, feasting; the marriage feast symbolizes the Marriage Feast of the Lamb (Ex 15:20; 1 Sa 18:6; 2 Sa 6:14; Matt 22:2; Rev 19:7).
for no one ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and provides tender care for it, just as Christ also the Church, (Ephesians 5:29)Not hating one's own flesh represents the Spiritual Self-Esteem of the husband, which is necessary for (1) function of Personal and Impersonal Love inside the Integrity Envelope and (2) exercise of authority (1 Cor 11:3). The head, where the soul is located, has authority over the body. Objectively, the soul loves the body, which symbolizes the woman. Subjectively, the soul loves the body, which corresponds to the husband's own self-esteem. Spiritual Self-Esteem is both subjective (toward self) and objective (toward wife) with virtue.
Competition for affection from others is a sign of insecurity and lack of self-esteem. Spiritual Self-Esteem solves this inadequacy. However, before self can be discovered, God must be discovered, and the believer must respond to Him in Grace. Spiritual growth is required to develop capacity for life and love. A person with Spiritual Self-Esteem has the capacity to love and be loved. Spiritual Self-Esteem solves the problem of inordinate competition for some else's love. The power of the Holy Spirit in Spiritual Self-Esteem is never insecure in love and affection and never feels threatened by arrogance or jealousy. This means a relaxed love life between Right Man and Right Woman.
"But nourishes and provides tender care for it." Just as the husband would nourish and provide tender care for his own body from his human self-esteem, he should nourish and provide tender care for his wife from Spiritual Self-Esteem. This is far beyond food and medical care. It includes Spiritual food and care, which the Right Man must supply as the leader of the relationship.
The last phrase, "just as Christ also the Church," further emphasizes the Spiritual relationship between Right Man and Right Woman. Christ is the head of the Church just as the husband is the temporal head of the wife, and the Right Man is the Spiritual head of the Right Woman. The husband (and Right Man) provides in Grace for his wife (and Right Woman) just as Christ the Church.
In any case, however, you also, each one of you individually, let him so love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife see to it that she respects her own husband. (Ephesians 5:33)Here again, the husband (Right Man) is commanded to love his wife (Right Woman) as he loves himself. This is human love from the husband's soul, which is stabilized by Spiritual Self-Esteem. Although the wife is not commanded to love her husband, she also should have love from her self-esteem. She is commanded to "respect her own husband (Right Man)." This requires submission to him as the leader of the relationship. She must respect her Right Man as the one that God appointed over her. She should respect her Right Man as her spiritual leader, and if she marries a man, she should respect him as her temporal leader.
Lack of Spiritual Self-Esteem in the Right Man - Right Woman relationship may lead to the malady, real or imagined, called lovesickness.
"Sustain me with grape-cakes,The Shulamite woman became lovesick when separated from her Right Man, her Shepherd Lover (SOS 2:5; 5:8). The lovesickness of the Shulamite was aroused by the amorous counterattack of the paramour, Solomon. As Solomon put the pressure on her to be his bride, she had flashbacks and fantasies of her Right Man.
Refresh me with apples,
Because I am lovesick. (SOS 2:5)
Lovesickness is a sudden passion, a paroxysm, from a love relationship that overpowers the soul. The powerful emotion may cause unusual stress and be accompanied by physical weaknesses, real or imagined, such as feeling faint, nauseous, tired, or headache. Lovesickness has many names, like brokenhearted or the blues. It leads to irrational behavior, acting out, and all kinds of reversionism. It may be caused by Right Man, Right Woman, or a paramour. It indicates lack of Capacity for Love. The Spiritual solution must be used to quiet the soul. The Spiritual solution requires Rebound and recovery of Spiritual Self-Esteem. This includes recognizing Right Man or Right Woman and Grace Orientation. Spiritual Self-Esteem covers and stabilizes the soul.
Conjugal love, sex, is God's gift for Marriage (SOS 2:7; 3:5; 1 Cor 7:3; Eph 5:31). It is an intimate love that is designed to function only within the bounds of Marriage. Sex outside of Marriage is a prescription for severe divine punishment, which God personally handles, so that no one gets away with anything (Heb 13:4). The multitude of sexual perversions are due to rejection of the Spiritual life and Right Man - Right Woman.
Sex for the Christian is not meant to function outside the Spiritual life or Marriage. And it was intended to be for the Right Man and Right Woman. Sex should include coalescence of souls as well as bodies. Coalescence of souls requires an Intimacy Room in the Edification Complex of the Soul.1 The Intimacy Room is developed through metabolization of Bible Doctrine and divine testing. Completion of the Intimacy Room is preceded by sexual death (Rom 4:19). Thus, if Right Man and Right Woman advance to Spiritual Maturity, they will be prepared for Marriage; otherwise, they will have spiritual problems. Two people can have sex without the Intimacy Room, but their Spiritual lives will fall apart in the process.
The Right Man - Right Woman relationship includes another form of love, which is companionship. It was never God's intention to leave man alone but to provide him with a wonderful companion (Genesis 2:18). Right Man and Right Woman should be content with each other's company, with or without conversation. Their souls should be at peace together. Otherwise, social infidelity can lead to problems in Marriage. Social unfaithfulness may precede sexual unfaithfulness. Potential for social infidelity can be seen in the Inner Heart Line of the hand.7 Regardless, the Right Man - Right Woman relationship requires forsaking all others.
For indeed, a nobleman ought not to have his head covered, existing as the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the Right Man. (1 Corinthians 11:7)"Nobleman" is the Greek aner, which refers to a nobleman or Right Man. It is higher than the common word for man, which is anthropos. "A nobleman ought not to have his head covered" because he is "the image and glory of God." To cover his head would cover the glory. The image of God means the invisible essence of the soul. Man was created in the image and likeness of God (Gen. 1:26; 5:1; 9:6; James 3:9). Since man is in the image of God, human life is sacred (Gen 9:6).
The Right Man is the glory of God. He possesses the glory of God in his body. He is the model of God, as the God-man. And in his relationship with Right Woman, he has the authority of God. Since his head is a symbol of his authority, he should not have it covered, for example, with long hair like a woman.
For indeed, a nobleman ought not to have his head covered, existing as the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the Right Man. (1 Corinthians 11:7)As the glory of God, the Right Man receives light directly from God and his Right Woman is with him in that same light. God does give light directly to the man and the woman, but He also gives light to the man for the Right Man - Right Woman relationship, and the woman reflects the light of the man. The light production is the Stage of Life in which Right Man and Right Woman are the hero and heroine of the scene along with supporting cast. There is only one play. The Right Man has the authority as the lead actor, and the Right Woman is expected to support him by being in subjection to him in the same spotlight. There are two stars in the play on the Stage of Life, but there is only one play. Both the Right Man and the Right Woman must follow the script or suffer the consequences. The consequences include divine discipline and slavery to Satan.
"But the woman is the glory of the Right Man." The glory of the woman is the light production of her Spiritual Life. The glory of the Right Woman is reflected light production associated with her Right Man. The light that she receives from God reflects the glory of her Right Man. She is given light to serve him and help him. The woman's Stage of Life is full of the production associated with her Right Man. The life that God gives the Right Woman is based on her Right Man. The Right Man is responsible for the activities on the woman's Stage of Life for better or worse. The woman can only fulfill her obedience to the Lord by being subject to her Right Man (Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18).
Then the LORD God decreed, "It is not good that Adam should be alone. I will make him a helper corresponding to him." (Genesis 2:18)"Good" refers to Divine Good production. It was never God's Plan to leave man alone. God created the Right Woman for Adam, and the Right Man - Right Woman system was Divine Good production. Based upon the Divine Order of Precedent, the Divine Institution of Right Man - Right Woman continues to be Divine Good production. God produces the relationship.
He who discovers Right Woman finds Divine Good"Right Woman" is the Hebrew 'Ishah. "He who discovers Right Woman" refers to identification of the Right Woman. The Holy Spirit will reveal the Right Woman or Right Man to the one who is Spiritual. When the man discovers his Right Woman, he finds Divine Good. The Right Man - Right Woman relationship is Divine Good production. The implication of this verse is discovering and marrying Right Woman. However, regardless of whether they marry, God provides a life for them which is Divine Good production. Right Man and Right Woman produce Divine Good in their life together (Prov 31:12).
And obtains Grace from the LORD. (Proverbs 18:22)
The Right Woman is a helper for the Right Man (Gen 2:18). This is more than someone to cook, sew, and raise the children. It is a helper in the Spiritual life (Prov 31:27). Divine Good is produced Spiritually. The Right Man and Right Woman are a team to demonstrate the Righteousness of God and withstand the counterattacks of evil. The woman who erects an Edification Complex in the Soul and advances to Spiritual Maturity has capacity for life and love. She produces Divine Good, and stands with the Right Man in the face of spiritual conflict. She supports her Right Man through the trials and tribulations of life. They are a team, and he can count on her.
The man who finds his Right Woman "obtains Grace from the LORD." The Hebrew word for "Grace" here is ratson, which means will (of God) or Grace. Right Woman and the Right Man - Right Woman relationship are provided by the Grace of God (Prov 19:14; 31:10).
Being witnesses in Satan's Appeal Trial means that Right Man and Right Woman are tested by God and cross examined by Satan. If they execute the Spiritual life, they become witnesses for the prosecution (God). However, if they live in sin, they will succumb to the snare of the devil and become his witnesses. Satan usually attacks the woman as he did in the Garden. However, if he snares the woman, the man, unlike Adam, can still resist the devil and stand with the Lord.
Among the clues that it is Right Man or Right Woman is emotional upheavals in the soul. If the right one has not been identified, the emotion will flow through the void on the cerebral cortex where the truth should be. The result will be a roller-coaster ride of emotion until the matter is settled. The relationship is not like love at first sight or lust. It is more like being blind-sided by a force that may be apparent to others but not to you.
There will also be markings on the hands. Although the right one will leave markings, relationships with wrong ones will leave similar markings. So, the clues in the hand alone cannot identify whether it is the right one. However, since the right one will leave a lasting impression, the markings should be in the hands. The markings are the same as those for marriage, which is shown in the hand by an Influence Line that joins the Destiny Line and by the Marriage Lines.7 Marriage does not have to occur for the markings to be there. An Influence Line that comes near the Destiny Line or overshoots indicates a potential marriage partner, or the right one, coming near or overshooting. If the lines merge or one ends nearby and the other continues, it indicates a marriage. The Marriage Lines have other clues about the relationship. Since Right Man - Right Woman is a prolific relationship, markings will indicate such.
The Birth Charts of Right Man and Right Woman may also hold clues. The Moon signs of the two will very likely be related in some way. This analysis is not definitive either, since many people born near the same time have similar Birth Charts.2 Other dates in the relationship, such as the time of the first meeting, hold additional clues.
Biorhythms of Right Man and Right Woman carry additional clues. Biorhythms indicate critical periods on 23, 28, 33, and 38-day cycles. The biorhythms of critical days of Right Man and Right Woman affect each other. Since the Right Man - Right Woman relationship is the most intimate in life, what happens to one affects the other. If one is in a critical period, the other will experience the pressure.
After the Right Man - Right Woman identification, the clues continue daily. Although the identification test is passed, the Lord will not let the issue die. Identifying traits of the other person will continually arise on the Stage of Life to identify the real source of blessing or cursing to be associated with Right Man or Right Woman. Identifying traits that may recur include birth date numbers, physical traits, friends, relationships, fruit, food, music, entertainment, family and historical background, and anniversaries. As the relationship matures, the other person will occupy a special home in the soul (the Intimacy Room). And problems in life may be traced back to problems in the Right Man - Right Woman relationship. The problems cover a wide spectrum from health to plumbing to the weather.
After identification of Right Man - Right Woman, the "forsaking all others" clause will take effect. Before meeting the right one, it might be possible to run around, date, or seek romantic relationships. After meeting the right one, relationships with others may bring immediate divine punishment. Touching can bring punishment for unclean relationships, such as warts or skin problems. Socializing and even thinking about the wrong one can bring divine punishment.
Abraham Seeks a Wife for Isaac
Journey to Haran
Negotiation for Rebekah
Isaac Marries Rebekah
And Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he owned, "Please put your hand under my loin, (Genesis 24:2)This was the bodily oath, a solemn oath related to the genitals as the source of procreation. It is only mentioned elsewhere in Gen. 47:29 (Jacob's dying request). Swearing by the genitals may have been related to circumcision, but it was a very solemn, intimate oath.
and I will make you swear by the LORD, the God of Heaven and the God of Earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, (Genesis 24:3)This was not swearing by God but by the Lord, the personnel director for marriage. Isaac's wife must not come from the Canaanites. To marry a Canaanite would violate the promise of God to Abraham - i.e. "to your descendants I will give this land" (Gen 24:7).
but you shall go to my country and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac. (Genesis 24:4)The servant would have to go to Haran to find a wife for Isaac among Abraham's relatives.
"The LORD, the God of Heaven, who took me from my father's house and from the land of my birth, and who decreed to me, and who swore to me, saying, 'To your descendants I will give this land,' He will send His angel before you, and you will take a wife for my son from there. (Genesis 24:7)"His angel" is the angel of Jehovah. The Lord, as the personnel director, oversees marriage. He brings the Right Woman to the Right Man (Gen. 2:22).
Then the servant took ten camels from the camels of his master, and set out with a variety of good things of his master's in his hand; and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor. (Genesis 24:10)Abraham's brother Nahor lived in Haran (Gen 11:31; 12:4). The trip from the region of Beersheba took about 21 days, since Haran was about 600 miles away and camels travel about 28 miles per day.
After reaching Haran, the servant stopped by a well outside the city.
And he made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water at the time of evening, the time at which the women come out to draw water. (Genesis 24:11)He waited at evening for the young women to come out to draw water for the flocks.
And he said, "O Lord, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today, and show Gracious Love to my master Abraham. (Genesis 24:12)In order to find the Right Woman or Isaac, the servant prayed to God to "show Gracious Love." This is the Hebrew chesed, which means Gracious Love, or unfailing Love. The Lord provides the Right Woman in Grace.
Genesis 24:13-14The servant presented a petition to God that was a specific request. The girl who will give him water to drink and also water his camels, will be the one the Lord has "appointed." The one the Lord has appointed is the Right Woman. The servant is looking for the Right Woman. He knows the Doctrine of Right Man - Right Woman.
13 "See here! I have taken my position. When the daughters of the city come out for drawing water, 14 Therefore, let it be that the girl to whom I say, 'Please, hold out your jar so I may drink;' but she answers as follows: 'Drink, and your camels also I will water.' Let her be the one you have appointed. By this I will know because You have shown Gracious Love to my master"
And it came about before he had finished praying, that behold, Rebekah who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor, came out with her jar on her shoulder. (Genesis 24:15)Before the servant had finished praying, Rebekah came out to draw water.
And the girl was very good looking, a virgin, with whom no man had had sex; and she went down to the well (fountain) and filled up her jar, and came up. (Genesis 24:16)She was "good looking," which is the Hebrew tobah (good) and mare'eth (appearance). This is the description of a girl who is well-built as opposed to one who has a beautiful face.
Genesis 24:17-18The servant ran to meet Rebekah. "Ran" is the Hebrew rutz, meaning to run; hurry to meet, move quickly. It is a figure of speech that means he moved quickly. It does not mean he was literally running. She respected her elders and showed hospitality to strangers and gave the servant a drink of water.
17 Then the servant ran to meet her, and said, "Please let me drink a little water from your jar." 18 And she said, "Drink, my lord"; and she quickly lowered her jar to her hand, and gave him a drink.
Genesis 24:19-20Now, watering 10 camels by drawing water from a well that was down a flight of steps was a lot of work. A rough estimate of the work is:
19 And as soon as she had finished giving him a drink, she said, '"also for your camels I will draw until they have finished drinking." 20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, and ran back to the well to draw, and she drew for all his camels.
Volume of Water = 50 to 100 gallons (Avg. = 75 gal.).This was a demonstration of Rebekah's capacity for life and love. It demonstrated her sensitivity to the needs of others - man and animals. It showed her willingness to serve and to assume responsibility. It demonstrated showing mercy, freely giving and expecting nothing in return.
Weight of Water Jar (filled) = 30 to 40 lb.
Trips: 19 to 25
Total Time = 30 to 40 min.
Meanwhile, the man was observing her intently while keeping silent for the purpose of discerning whether the LORD had given success or not. (Genesis 24:21)While Rebekah was working, the servant was quietly analyzing the operation to determine if the Lord had answered his prayer and this was the one. Actions speak louder than words. Talk is cheap.
Then it came about, when the camels had finished drinking, that the man took a gold ring weighing a half-shekel and two bracelets for her wrists weighing ten shekels in gold, (Genesis 24:22)When Rebekah had finished watering the camels, the servant gave her a gold nose-ring (Gen 24:47) weighing a half-shekel (.25 oz) and two gold bracelets weighing 10 shekels (5 oz).
Genesis 24:23-24Only after all this did the servant inquire as to the name of the girl and whether her family had room for himself and his traveling companions to spend the night. It turned out that the girl was Rebekah, who was the daughter of Bethuel, Abraham's nephew (son of Nahor). After she had accepted his request for lodging, he stopped to give thanks to God as Rebekah ran back to the house.
23 and said, "Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room for us to lodge in your father's house?" 24 And she said to him, "I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor." 25 She added, "We have plenty of both straw and feed, and room for spending the night."
Genesis 24:26-27He thanked the Lord for "His Gracious Love and His truth (doctrine)." The Lord had kept His Word and provided a Right Woman in Grace for Isaac. And the Lord had led the servant to the girl who was Abraham's kin. This was a magnificent illustration of God's provision of Right Woman in the Identification Phase of the Right Man - Right Woman relationship. In this case, the Right Woman was identified by a servant. Neither Abraham nor Isaac had yet seen her.
26 Then the man bowed his head and worshiped the LORD. 27 He prayed, "The LORD is blessed, the God of my master Abraham, who has not forsaken His Gracious Love and His truth (doctrine) toward my master. For me, the LORD led me on the path to the house of the kin of my master."
Genesis 24:28-30When Rebekah ran and told her family what had happened, her brother Laban went down to the well (fountain) to meet the servant.
28 Then the teen ran and related all these circumstances to her mother's side of the family. 29 Rebekah had a brother whose name was Laban. Laban ran out to the man at the fountain. 30 And it came about that when he saw the ring, and the bracelets on his sister's wrists, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, "Thus spoke the man seriously to me!" he went to the man; and behold, he was standing with the camels at the fountain.
He said, "Come in, O blessed of the LORD! Why are you standing out here, since I have prepared the house (for you), and a place for the camels?" (Genesis 24:31)Laban invited the servant into his house.
Genesis 24:32-33However, when dinner was served, the servant, though weary from his journey, insisted on stating his business before eating.
32 And he (Laban) provided straw and fodder for the camels, and water for washing his feet and the feet of the men who were with him. 33 But when dinner was set before him, he said, "I will not eat until I have proposed my business." He (Laban) said, "Please present it."
Genesis 24:34-36The servant explained his mission to find a wife for Isaac, how he had prayed to God, and how Rebekah had been the answer to his prayer.
34 He said, "I am Abraham's servant. 35 The LORD has blessed my master exceedingly so that he has become wealthy. He has given him flocks and herds, silver and gold, men-servants and maid-servants, camels and donkeys. 36 Now Sarah my master's wife bore a son to my master in her old age; and he has given him all that he has."
"Then I bowed and worshiped the LORD and blessed the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who had guided me in the path of truth (doctrine) to take the daughter of my master's kinsman for his son." (Genesis 24:48)He told how he had thanked the Lord for answering his prayer.
"Now, at this time please inform me whether you will deal in grace and truth with my master; and if not, please inform me that I may turn to the right hand or the left." (Genesis 24:49)The servant closed by making the offer to Laban and Bethuel to "deal in grace and truth" with Abraham - that is, to do the Lord's will and give Rebekah to be the wife of Isaac.
Laban and Bethuel answered, "The matter has come forth out from the LORD; we cannot, therefore, speak to you bad or good." (Genesis 24:50)Laban and Bethuel recognized the scene described as the work of God and could speak anything bad or good about it. They were graced out and gave their tacit approval.
"Behold, Rebekah is before you, take her and go, and let her be the Right Woman (wife) to your master's son, because of whom the LORD has decreed." (Genesis 24:51)This means that Rebekah had been given to the servant to take to Isaac - i.e. she is at his disposal. Rebekah is called 'ishah, meaning Right Woman or wife.
It came to pass when Abraham's servant heard their statements, he bowed himself to the earth before the LORD. (Genesis 24:52)Abraham's servant thanked God for closing the deal.
Then the servant brought out articles of silver and articles of gold, and garments, and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave precious things to her brother and to her mother. (Genesis 24:53)The servant then gave expensive wedding presents to Rebekah and her brother and mother. This was an ancient custom of impressing the family of the bride with the wealth available from the groom's family. Then they ate and drank and spent the night.
The next morning when the servant was ready to leave with Rebekah, Laban, who was a carnal believer, and his mother tried to interfere with the plan.
But her brother and her mother said, Let the girl stay with us a few days, say ten; afterward she may go. (Genesis 24:55)The servant, however, did not fall for this line.
56 But he (the servant) said to them, Do not delay me, since the Lord has prospered my way. Send me away that I may go to my master. 57 And they said, We will call the girl and consult her wishes. 58 Then they called Rebekah and said to her, Will you go with this man? And she said, I will go. 59 Thus they sent away their sister Rebekah and her nurse with Abraham's servant and his men.
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening; and he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, camels were coming. (Genesis 24:63)It is most likely that Isaac was meditating upon God's will about his marriage.
Genesis 24:64-65When Rebekah saw a man walking toward them in the field, she jumped down from her camel. Due to the camel's long legs the top of the hump may be 7 feet from the ground. The jump indicates a person in good shape. At the time she jumped down from the camel, she did not know it was Isaac. She jumped from the camel to receive the man according to the custom, and then she asked his name. When she was told it was Isaac, she covered her face with her veil. This signified the bride meeting the groom.
64 And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she jumped from the camel. 65 And she said to the servant, "Who is that man yonder who is walking in the field to meet us?" And the servant said, "He is my master." So she grabbed her veil and wrapped herself.
And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. (Genesis 24:66)The servant explained everything to Isaac.
Then Isaac conducted her into the tent of Sarah, his mother, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her; therefore Isaac was consoled after his mother's death. (Genesis 24:67)Isaac took Rebekah as his wife. He consummated the marriage in his mother's tent, which was their new bedroom. Isaac loved Rebekah and "was consoled after his mother's death."
Released September 15, 2010 - Revised Oct. 16, 2014