Grief

GRIEF

Definition

Grief is a type of suffering. It is sorrow of soul that accompanies loss or punishment. Grief is a sign something is wrong. It is not a sin, but a weakness.

Examples of Grief

Grief like a forsaken woman

"For the LORD calls you as a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Even as the wife of youth when she is rejected," says your God. (Isaiah 54:6)

A man or woman may suffer grief when the Right Man - Right Woman relationship breaks down. During Compatibility Testing, God sets the stage for such grief to teach the stronger partner that faith is the way to marital happiness. Since the Right Man - Right Woman relationship is a Sovereign act of God in creation, God never gives up on the relationship. And the punishment for those who try to destroy the relationship will be severe. Divorce is sure to bring grief, and those who destroy marriages through divorce will face the wrath of God, who judges all marriage disputes (Hebrews 13:4).

The nation of Israel is compared to a "forsaken" wife where the LORD is the symbolic Right Man. Actually Israel, both men and women, walked out on the LORD. A similar verse (2 Corinthians 11:2) applies to the Church. The phrase, "grieved in spirit," is an idiom that means burdened with sorrow. It has nothing to do with the human spirit. In the last line, rejection is sure to bring grief. However, the LORD never rejects anyone.

Grief of the disciples over the prophecy of Christ's death on the Cross

Matthew 17:22-23, NAS
22 And while they were gathering together in Galilee, Jesus said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men; 23 and they will kill Him, and He will be raised on the third day.” And they were deeply grieved.

Grief from the punishment of monetary reversionism

For the root of all sorts of evil is the love of money, which some by striving after have gone astray from doctrine and have pierced themselves with many pangs. (1 Timothy 6:10)

Children may cause grief

The proverbs of Solomon.
A wise son makes a father glad,
But a foolish son is a grief to his mother. (Proverbs 10:1, NAS)

A father receives the benefits of happiness after the mother did a good job with training the younger child.

A foolish son is a grief to his father,
And bitterness to her who bore him. (Proverbs 17:25, NAS)

However, a foolish son, who rejects the authority of his parents, brings grief to the father and bitterness to the mother.

Wisdom may cause grief

Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain. (Ecclesiastes 1:18, NAS)

While ignorance is bliss, wisdom may be hamstrung by grief and worry. Wise people see more causes for grief.

Grieving Over Death of Loved One

Christians should not grieve over the death of loved ones as those who have no hope.

But we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve, as do the rest who have no hope. (1 Thessalonians 4:13)

Christians have the hope of Eternal Life with a Resurrection Body. They are going to Heaven, which is a place of no more sorrow or tears. People who go to Heaven are in a better place. The unbeliever doesn't know this and has great grief in the death of loved ones.

David mourned excessively over Absalom.

2 Samuel 19:2-4, NAS

2 And the victory that day was turned to mourning for all the people, for the people heard it said that day, “The king is grieved for his son.” 3 So the people went by stealth into the city that day, as people who are humiliated steal away when they flee in battle. 4 And the king covered his face and cried out with a loud voice, “O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

David behaved like a big cry-baby over the death of his long-haired, rebellious wild-child son, Absalom. David's wailing made everyone else miserable.

Death is God's victory. Death is a sovereign decision of God, who alone determines the time, manner, and place of death.

1 Corinthians 15
55 Oh death, where is your victory? Oh death, where is your sting?
56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the Law.
57 But thanks be to God, who gives to us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Death is a sovereign decision of God. The death has a Spiritual meaning from God that has nothing to do with how good or bad the person was who died. Even in the case of the Sin Unto Death, God makes the final decision of the time of death. Therefore, there is no need to speculate on whether the person died the Sin Unto Death because even the Sin Unto Death is God's victory.

Sorrows Paid for on the Cross

Sorrows were paid for on the Cross. The Christian life should be a life of victory and happiness.

Isaiah 53:3-4
3 He was despised and forsaken by men; a man of griefs, and well acquainted with disease; and like one from whom men hide their face: despised, and we esteemed Him not.
4 Surely, He has borne our diseases and our pains: He has laid them upon Himself; but we regarded Him as one stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

Grief Causes Stress in the Body

Grief may cause stress in the body and sickness. Stress should be kept out of the soul. When it is invited in, it will become garbage in the subconscious and stress in the body, which leads to sickness or loss of health.

“My eye has also grown dim because of grief,
And all my members are as a shadow. (Job 17:7, NAS)
My eye has wasted away with grief;
It has become old because of all my adversaries. (Psalm 6:7, NAS)
Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
My eye is wasted away from grief, my soul and my body also. (Psalm 31:9, NAS)

Solution to Grief

Grief must be understood and checked before it advances into the sins of worry, hypersensitivity, insensitivity, or self-pity.

When grief has advanced into sin, the solution is to Rebound.

Application of Bible Doctrine solves the problem of grief.

My soul weeps because of grief;

Strengthen me according to Thy word. (Psalm 119:28, NAS)

Responding to the Love of God solves the problem of grief from the Fifth Cycle of Discipline

Lamentations 3:21-23
21 This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22 Because of the Lord's gracious love we are not cut off,
For His compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Thy faithfulness.

Use of the Problem Solving Device of Happiness (+H) solves the problem of sorrow.

Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10b, NAS)

Conclusion

Grief is a sign that something is seriously wrong in the Spiritual Life. Grief should not be ignored, lest it become stress in the soul and body. It is normal in suffering to have grief, but the grief should be handled by one of the Problem Solving Devices. Grief must be faced with objectivity. Excessive grief is a sign of subjectivity and lack of Spiritual strength. When grief leads to sin, it must be handled with Rebound. Grief must not be allowed to progress to self-pity, which is a very destructive sin complex.

Author: Larry Wood, Released September 12, 2001